A sense of belonging is one of the most important drivers of motivation. And the tougher the goal, the more vital it is for you to feel that you belong to people who understand the struggle.

Here’s what you should be talking about with people who can support you in your goals. The first two are taken straight from our Habitry groups. We consider them so important to creating a positive motivational climate that we invite people to make these reflections every day.

“This is what I did well today.”

Look for progress on your goal, no matter how small. Even if it’s simply making a decision or blocking out future time on your calendar to work on your goal. The more often you look for success, the more motivated you’ll feel.

“Today I learned…”

This is another thing you should explore every day if you can. It’s especially important to do on days when your efforts didn’t go well. You have to frame difficulties as learning experiences. Seeing failure rather than lessons hurts your ability to see the next right thing to do.

“Here’s something another person said about how to be successful.”

If the two items above feel a bit too vulnerable, then sharing others’ success stories and advice can help. Find “how-to” and “I did it” blog posts written by people who are working on the same goals you have. And when you read them, ask yourself “What did this person do well?” and “What did they learn?”