My last article was a smashing success. Many people told me, “I’m never gonna run again!” The problem is that most of those people didn’t run in the first place and now are doomed to a life of fatness if they can’t get some cardio in. So I thought I’d write a follow up article to defend running. My best friend and my greatest enemy.

Here is why you should run.

It’s cardio

Yeah, it makes you hungry and messes up your joints. But it’s cardio and your heart needs cardio if it’s gonna pump through the donuts and get you to 85.

It burns calories

Other things might burn more and make you less hungry, but if you can ride the wave of “FEED ME” without succumbing, running will still result in a caloric deficit. Plus, if it’s the cardio that’s most convenient, then it’s likely the cardio you’ll do. So quit your bitching and run.

It’s cheap

If you aren’t an idiot like me, you don’t have buy 10 pairs of running shoes. You don’t even have to buy one. Just put on the closest thing to running shoes you own and go for a jog. Once you start to put on the miles, dedicated shoes are a good idea, but they aren’t a must have when you get started. That means that the price of admission to this sport is $0.

You can always do it


Sun or snow, night or day, you can always go for a run. Gyms close and you can talk yourself out of going because it’s too far. But running takes place wherever you are. Even if you are on vacation, there will still be roads to run on. There are even cruise ships with outdoor tracks. Running is the only type of cardio that is completely free of excuses.

It makes you high

The runner’s high exists. It is a release of endorphins that occurs when you maintain a high enough pace for long enough that your muscle glycogen starts to get depleted. You have to work hard to get it, but isn’t that the point?

You can brag

If you run into other runners you can always ask, “what’s your distance?” followed by “what’s your PR?” If it’s faster than yours, tell them, “Wow! That’s so fast!” but if it isn’t you can always be a dick and tell them yours. Races also give away a ton of free schwag with t-shirts being obligatory. Those t-shirts tell the world that you try harder than they do at something.

**Subjective Competition **

Running is the oldest sport in the world. It’s the purest and most ancient way of pitting yourself against fellow competitors and there is no better way to get started on the path to fitness than competition. I lost 60 lbs because I wanted to go faster than other people. Sure there are better forms of cardio for fat loss, but very few sports are easier to join up and compete in. If you doubt me, sign up for a 5k and feel the thrill of passing someone for the first time.

Objective Competition

Even if you don’t ever sign up for a race, you are always competing against yourself to go faster. You can’t lie to yourself about how hard you tried or how well you could have done. You can’t avoid that number. You always know if you succeeded or failed. The purity of the clock is just what some people need to not only change their body, but change their life. Running was the very first time I knew that I was being measured and could not talk my way from failure to success. And it was watching my 5k time drop from 30+ minutes to 17:52 that provided me with the yardstick of my life changes.

Because you love it

If you love running, stop worrying about it and freaking run. I had to adjust my priorities based on my injuries and the threats to my libido, but I found a way to run 25 miles a week. I am even getting faster. The point is, if you love something, just do it, jackass.